I hate it when people

don’t say what they mean.  Like when they ask you something indirectly.  If you want something from me, just ask me

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I was thinking

about suicide.  Not thinking about killing myself, but thinking about suicide.  I feel empty, I feel numb.  People that don’t want to live anymore, they don’t care, right?  But isn’t caring what makes you human? I want to feel alive, I don’t want to die.  Being numb is better than being dead.  I guess I haven’t lost hope.  Hope is what stops people that want to be dead to reconsider and remember how amazing it feels to be alive.  This probably seems like a stupid concept but for some reason it seemed profound in my head because I never really thought of it that way before.  Might as well stick around for another 50 years to see if anything good happens before my body shuts down anyways.  What’s 50 years of pain compared to an eternal void of the unknown anyways?

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Pyramid Outburst Imperial IPA

Next up is a dry-hopped ale from Pyramid called Outburst.  I’m gonna start off by saying this ale was a bit of a disappointment.  Taste wise, it’s got a prominant malty sweetness with some floral and citrus tones and not quite enough hoppy finish for my liking.  I liked the hints of honey in the taste though.  It wasn’t a bad beer by any means but probably not something I would buy again.  I liked how orginial the taste was, I can’t really think of any other IPA I could even compare it to.  I would also have liked it to be a half percent lower alcohol content, 8.5% is a little too heavy and I wouldn’t want to drink more than two of these in a row.  I must say, I liked this a lot more the second time I had it so it may be somewhat of an aquired taste.  If it’s available, pick up a sixer and try it out!

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I’m gonna start reviewing beer because I’ve been drinking so much good beer lately and the rest of the world needs to stop drinking keystone and learn about good brews. 

I’m gonna start with what I’m sipping on currently, Stone’s Ruination India Pale Ale.  Stone is a brewery located in San Diego, California and they brew some fantastic IPA’s.  The Ruination is probably my favorite, although their cali-belguique IPA is fucked up good as well.  Like the bottle says, this beer is “a liquid poem to the glory of the hop”.  It’s over 100 IBUs and has a really bitter hoppy taste.  I know most people talk about aromas and color and shit when they review beers, but fuck it, all I care about is the taste.  There’s a hint of sweet maltiness that leads into a nice gravefruity bitterness that lingers.  At 7.7%, it packs a punch without even tasting like alcohol.  I would highly recomend this ale, one of my favorite IPA’s as of lately.  (most of the beers i’m going to post will likely be IPA’s)

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Real loneliness is not necessarily limited to when you are alone.
― Charles Bukowski (via ditchtherest)
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Day 29:

Woke up wishing I was dead.  The number of days is irrelevant though, it’s been much longer than 29 days.  

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I can’t

fucking live like this anymore

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